Nimby residents showed enthusiastic support today in response to this morning's announcement from the coalition government regarding their plans for policing reform.
Home Secretary Thesesa May unveiled the brand new, 'big society'-based approach to community policing, dubbed The People's Militia, where public-spirited local vigilantes would volunteer to work alongside the regular plods, assisting them in carrying out routine duties such as public lynchings, collecting protection money from local businesses and shaking down drug dealers.
The use of the term 'DIY policing' in today's announcement led to misunderstandings amongst some of Nimby's amateur upholders of law and order. A mob of potential DIY crimefighters were observed in the B & Q car park intimidating customers while trying to look really hard and sporting mirror shades and utility belts. Some wore homemade star-shaped badges fashioned from tinfoil with the word 'depyutee' inscribed on them in black magic marker.
Unofficial spokesman for the menacing group of 'vigilanteers', window cleaner Barry Clartford said - "I always thought there was summat wrong wid them radges who gan on a mish wiv 'ammers n nails of a weekend like. It ain't normal is it? It was aboot time summat got done like".
More soon....
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